Gay thoughts will not GO AWAY?

I am disgruntled, agitated and sad. I can't stop thinking about having sex with men and thinking about dating them. I am 19 and I have been on a gay tendencies for 8 years. but ages 17-19 got WORSE. I thinking about women...BOOOM Guy pops up and I get distracted. I hate to say this, but I am "subconsciously" getting bored of women(GOD I HATE EVEN TYPING THAT) I can't make the gay go away. This is the most powerful my gay side has ever been on me. Will I ever get my thing for women? I mean when I fantasize about men I enjoy myself, but after that I am like"WTH how gross, whats wrong with me. Guys rubbing on each other and corn hole'in each other is not normal and right ewww" I am afraid. I have the mentality of a 5 year old(I am a kid at heart) I can't be with a man and if this keeps up I can't be with women...